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Wouldn’t you say it’s easy to have compassion for cute cats?
Now, what about developing compassion for a cockroach? To be or not to Be compassion for, YES, a cockroach?
The question of the day.
If you choose to participate in reading my blog you will discover an account of many an adventurous “walk about” into discovering ONEness ….to remove blockades that inhibit connection to our Source, innate spiritual wisdom and Over Soul or Higher Consciousness. Here, you will find one “Divine Feminine” WOAHman’s discovery that she can overcome all her fears: of success, buzzing bees, failures, moving in with family at 33 (eeeeek Christ Year almighty!), re-locating or traveling to various cities with PTSD symptoms (why would you do that?), living on a sailboat, near death experiences (almost drowned in the Pacific, engine explosion and crashed a boat into a barge), hunted by a drone, traveling alone in Mexico and London, being homeless, communal living (7 people plus pets in a 3 bedroom condo with 3 bathrooms). Even living out of a car, boats, retreat centers, and moving in with an Israeli boyfriend… who’s two hours late to EVERYTHING and that included rent … aforementioned boyfriend is no longer my boyfriend… and the list goes on.
Well, today the greatest challenge yet came to pass after a night of past life regressions in a group with Hypnotherapist ANNA BLISS who manages the website www.get-hypnotized.com
Yes I have cockroaches as roomies. They aren’t half bad, they don’t really eat your food like a human roomie. They eat trash. They don’t make any noise or wear your clothes. They don’t use your bathroom supplies up and forget to buy more. They just fly in your hair and jump off the walls, and crawl under rugs. They stay out of your way mostly. I have become very proficient in stealthy hunting strategies, as I learn how to catch them and release them to the wilds of the hasidic Jewish neighborhood I live in near Beverly Hills. As I complete a 40 day sadhana in the Kundalini style tradition, meditating at the wee hours of the morning (referred to as the “ambrosial” hours) I feel that I must practice non-violence in every way possible to be a good student of the Guru, God, Source, Divine Spirit, Holy Spirit. So I catch and release cockroaches!
I have made the choice to NOT kill cockroaches but to see them, capture them, talk to them requesting that they consider to never return and I give them a chance to live … outside of my home.
You may ask “why so kind to a small freaky insect”.
Well, what if I was one of them? Just a slob like one of them? After all WE ARE ALL KINDA LIKE COCKROACHES at times, scary, bacteria-ridden, scurrying from place to place trying not to get smashed or eaten alive. Look at a babies hands you will see! Humans take over any region we live and we can survive, like they do, in almost any condition. We have a lot more in common than we think we do. We pro-create and wreak havoc sometimes and we destroy the habitat we dwell in, makin’ mountainous piles of trash. They simply run around adapting to it and eating it. But really all we want is to mind our own business. We are like them in that way. If something 1000 times the size of me saw me and ran, screamed or tried to smash me every time I saw it I WOULD be traumatized!
So in the spirit of compassion I let them come visit and then I capture and release them.
Now today one landed on my head otherwise known as the “Crown Chakra”. It was not cool. At 4 am I slowly crept to my bathroom with sagging eyes and groggy steps and bam! One of these buggers fell on my head and landed to the floor in shock. It was on its back and stunned. So I picked it up in a cup with an inspiring card that says “Universe is just waiting to create what you want if you just BE YOU. ” Styrofoam cup and a hard card works great for capturing crawlers. Flies are way worse.
By this time I am surrendered after multiple summer days of capturing these little fellas.
But something says I should meditate and use prayer …the kind of mental voodoo or mind projection to block cockroaches from entering my home. There is a crack under my front door which is the entry way and so there I focus my attention to create a invisible cockroach shield! Well God answers prayer.
I left for work after TWO captures that day before 7 am and one is lying on it’s back twitching at the doorway to my home. Inside. For no reason it died upon entering my home! Meaning it crawled under my door and lied down dead. It really is easy to have compassion for anything dying. Anything that is so hated and despised that NO ONE seems to LOVE it.
It is in this moment that I realized that my life is worth a lot. And I am a powerful prayer warrior. There are many living, breathing beings that LOVE me. And I am darn cute. SO since I am blessed I should have compassion for the most unlovable as well the lovable like a cat named Marley. Because I am blessed to be human. And gratefully happy that I am not a cockroach.
Dear Ones from Planet Earth. You are under a close watch. Your mission is to experience all that you can BE here NOW… for all you touch and all you see is all that life will ever be (Pink Floyd) this is based on Choices for your Evolution. We have no time. It is not something you can “have”. The time to Ascend to new awareness is upon us. To become ‘homo illuminus”. I am struck by my blessings. After a heart breaking Supermoon “breakup” I thought I would be alone and sad all day lying around depressed. But instead my soul supported me in quantum shifting my Shit and helped me Rise in Love today. I began experiencing true Joy.
I had dreams that could only be described as silly, weird and fun last night. After a bucket of tears, a full moon kundalini meditation and my body being taken over by what I can only describe as… aliens… I awoke today to a chiropractic appointment complete with massage, heating pads and electrostimulation therapy. The price tag was FREE, yes, Free. Courtesy of Mercury Insurance after I was hit by a car, driven by a little old white lady, while walking to my car in front of my house. Now I am receiving treatments for a few months FREE. Yeah, just get hit by a car and FINALLY you decide to help heal yourself. That’s me.
So, as I was saying, I arrived to the pier in Santa Monica after the aligning treatments and sat watching a Trapeze School training and some aerial acrobats. Walking slowly, talking with Aungellah, (girlie topics talk) and feeling into my sadness I released the disappointment that I may not have been “good enough” for someone. And that someone was someone I considered to be my Twin Flame Soul Mate. I visualized him as a Spiritual Master, healer, hero, warrior of peace, teacher, Prophet, Listener. I placed him upon a pedastal. Then eventually realized he was just human. An animal like me. I wanted to be “good enough”. In the end I was rejected in a hurtful way and felt disconnected. Maybe it’s just my interpretation of his behavior. Maybe he was a really poor match for me.
Onward and upward. Then downward and back to up. That has been my life journey in a nutshell. I decided to meet a dentist friend today who told me she could not buy a package of sessions from me. I needed that money. She would introduce me to her brother. He and a few others may want to commit to purchasing yoga sessions, or they would be good leads. Then she bought me a Juicy Juice Smoothie in Brentwood. Actually she got a buy one get one FREE. No sacrifice on her end. She did not have money either. There are lots of FREE things in the world. Who said nothing in life was FREE!? I got so many FREE things today! Free parking, free drinks, free advertising for my business.
I have spoken to 4 cosmic soul mates today and I will meet more tomorrow. They brighten my day and provide me the support I need for this next chapter of karmic processing and clearing. Being financially limited, broken emotionally and vulnerable. Yeah, I don’t like it, but I choose this and it happens FOR me and not to me. Everything happens FOR us. There is NO problem with duality. We came here to experience it. No THING is bad for Me, I remind myself. I want to learn to stay Peaceful in the worst condition I could imagine.
Last month I traveled to Big Sur, CA on the West Coast of northern state. I attended a psuedo-spiritual “school” and workshop property called “Esalen” from August 3rd, 2014 until the 29th and it changed my MIND about leadership, control, community, hard work. I began to allow mystical beings into my life. During my first week of participation in their month long work trade program, there was an argument with me and another woman. This person who was violent and reactive and trying to control me like she was a boss. We are only co- workers but she has been there a long time. I ended up being the teacher without intentionally being one. The traumatic event occurred in the Lodge where food is served and culminated in her grabbing my arm in a violent physical attack as I tried to avoid conflict. She proceeded to block my path on a bridge. I told her I did not need her to tell me how to do my job. I would be a perfectionist if I listened to her, because her version of perfect is not MY version of perfect. If I want to make mistakes that is my choice. So the power struggle began and without going into details it ended with gossip, childish behavior and my request for a sit down meeting with leadership and her. This was met with blatant hate and she rejected me, defiantly. When I started laying boundaries she started telling me about the HIERARCHY of the Lodge. Sorry but homegirl don’t play her games. That was for the outside world NOT this place… off the grid in the beautiful mountains of a UTOPIAN community. But as I learned even this Eselen heaven has its shadow side. We used The Gestault Method to resolve the conflict. Without the dark side of everything there would there be NO Light. Light rests in the arms of darkness. Both are everywhere and nowhere. Contrast is King and the Key to learning!
So after this I began a journey home… to myself, and my soul purged as my Ego and bad Spirits were ripped from my body for an entire month straight.
Shamans, angels, teachers, so many helpers and I was one realizing that I was one of them!
Feldenkrais healing sessions, conversations with Michoacan mesoamerican shaman ladies, a makeout session with a sexy Harry Potter-esque playboy, group volleyball, kitchen work, gardening, naked sun bathing in the coldest ocean and mineral baths with that ocean view everyday for weeks. Whales and dolphins were jumping out of the ocean daily. This was truly paradiso! if I could live here I could walk through coals and never be burned !
The messages, lessons, and blessings that I received from this initiation month at Eselen have ripped out the weeds of my sub-conscious mind, (some) and re-directed me into the Light of my Being.
Tonight I chose to remain in peaceful states of Joy instead of diving into Ecstatic Ego-driven states of Exuberance at a bar called KingKing in Hollywood. I am proud of myself. Sitting in my studio apartment with Camille a JOY nugget of Love was blissful! We are listening to my recorded music which made me SING with happiness in my heart. It is amazing how friends and soulmates can activate a part of you that lies dormant and can, when freed, liberate others. Connection with other humans. Love. That is what it does. Liberates.
Tonight I made a clear choice to meditate for 4 hours and then while Purified Feelings of Peace and Joy flooded me I felt Ms. Ego, overdosed and gooey, trying to step in and take control. At various times with manipulative ways. I wanted to go dancing in a BAR with “Conscious Burner” druggies to listen to two bands. That was the wrong idea and I asked my spirit guardians and Oversoul what was best.
Of course going home is what I chose. Despite the energized rowdy feeling I had and the free cover charge. I wondered how many conscious people go to late hours dance events to enjoy themselves and realize that the mixed energies just drain them instead of feeding their soul. Now I am loving every activating moment with my friend and it’s Sublime! No worries here as we share our stories, laughter, love and support. Matthew 18:3 “Truly, I say unto you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
This choice led me to the morning of Oct 22 2014. A early morning wake up call from Spirit and I arose from bed to send messages of love to the world through my Facebook Page. I DO NOT CARE IF I AM BEING HELD UNDER SURVEILANCE BY THE GOVERNMENT. There is nothing they can do to imprison my spirit …maybe my bank accounts can be closed and all my money stolen, and extra taxes dumped on me, and parking tickets in excess of hundreds of dollars…the Matrix cannot control my Soul. So here I am being blunt. It is my time to shine with out hiding the LIGHTHOUSE that I know I am. In this process I will embody the spirit of the Fire of the Holy Spirit, and support Spiritual Transformation in the people of Earth.
SO as I was typing on the cell, I told my friend that I want to make money just being me and that she can consider this as a way out of financial stalemates by asking to be paid for just simply being herself. Then it came. The phone call that confirmed my TRUTH was True.
A woman with the same name as me, Jennifer, called and said she had seen my Amazon ad and wanted to come see me for a chakra balancing! But she wanted to pay me directly. More money and more abundance immediately delivered at the perfect time! A God sense of Humor erupted from me and there I was with overflowing joy and gratitude!
Ohmmm Ekadantha! May Goddess continue to remove obstacles for you and me as we release the addictions, impulsive behavior (yes You get that hand out of the cookie jar), bad habits like raising your voice, uncontrollable emotions and all that does not represent who You truly are!
Amen Ashe Aho!
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your land.
May the rain fall soft upon your face until we meet again.
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.